Foodiot

Behold, my readers, “Snack Foods Nobody Likes” has returned with a vengeance. Spongy, orange vengeance.

Ladies and gentlesnackers … I present the much-loathed “Circus Peanuts”!

No, these aren't earplugs. They're candy.

I’ll admit that I struggled with this choice for two reasons: First, there is apparently a long-standing blog tradition of mocking Circus Peanuts and I don’t want to be repetitive. They’ve been chewed, smashed and nuked by a Web site devoted to bad candy; used for prop comedy by one blog; and given the designation of “unappealing” by another. Would I have anything new to say?

Secondly, the things are just so damned unpopular. The question about whether or not anyone actually liked them was asked at least as far back as 1998 and, it appears that even the people who make the ugly things dislike them. Would I be kicking a candy while it’s down?

Nevertheless, I decided to proceed. Too many of my friends and acquaintances voted for them and I had fond memories of my first encounter with these puffy pellets of hyperglycemic horror.

I recall that, as a high-school student, I was out with some friends one weekend for a little innocent merrymaking. This innocent (and by ‘innocent’, I don’t mean Disney/Dumbo/Bambi innocent, but, rather “American Graffiti”-style ‘fond memories of youthful antics’ innocent) excursion involved convincing an older, bearded friend to buy us beer to enhance the night’s carousing. While milling about in the convenience store and trying not to look like I had any association with our bearded buyer, I came across Circus Peanuts hanging on a rack with other cheap candies. I was so amused by their bizarre appearance that I purchased them and they became the source of much laughter for the remainder of the evening.  

For all your moralists out there, fear not. Though we were circumventing the law and generally behaving foolishly, I still managed to learn a valuable life lesson:  Never, under any circumstances, should one buy or consume Circus Peanuts. Orange vomit is not considered “cool” or attractive by young women.

I also learned that when you slur “Circus Peanuts” it sounds a lot like “Circus Penis” and this makes drunk teenagers giggle, but that’s neither here nor there.

For the record, this site offers a bit of history on Circus Peanuts, but I have my own theory as to their origins. I believe that the makers of packing peanuts were simply looking for a way to recycle their product and/or make money off leftovers, so they chose to coat them in orange, goopy sugar (M&M-like chocolate shells wouldn’t stick) and resold them to candy brokers. See the evidence below…

Now...

Then